Published in the Huffington Post on October 6th, it was written by Allison Tate. Allison Tate is a regular mom..thirtysomething, mom to four, freelance writer, school volunteer, car-pool driver. Usually late to arrive. Still carrying extra baby weight. Sometimes awkward, tired, and rumpled.
Her post is honest, vulnerable. Profoundly moving.
And steps on toes. Mom toes.
Last week, she shared a story that began with an object of dread: a photo booth at a party. Her 5-year-old son wanted her to join him in it. She hesitated, really wanting to avoid it.
"It seems logical. We're sporting mama bodies and we're not as young as we used to be. We don't always have time to blow dry our hair, apply make-up, perhaps even bathe (ducking). The kids are so much cuter than we are; better to just take their pictures, we think.
But we really need to make an effort to get in the picture. Our sons need to see how young and beautiful and human their mamas were. Our daughters need to see us vulnerable and open and just being ourselves -- women, mamas, people living lives. Avoiding the camera because we don't like to see our own pictures? How can that be okay?......."
"I'm everywhere in their young lives, and yet I have very few pictures of me with them. Someday I won't be here -- and I don't know if that someday is tomorrow or thirty or forty or fifty years from now -- but I want them to have pictures of me. I want them to see the way I looked at them, see how much I loved them. I am not perfect to look at and I am not perfect to love, but I am perfectly their mother."
"The kids are so much cuter than we are...."
That’s certainly what I think.
I mean, why would I want documentation — evidence — of all my faults?
Behind the camera is where I feel safest.
Lately, though, I’ve been reconsidering this policy.
Not because of Tate; because of one of my daughter's.
She has recently become very camera-shy, too.
I wonder: Is this my influence?
Conversely, Tate’s influence has been positive: As of today, her essay has 521,332 “likes” on Facebook; it has been shared 151,400 times; it has prompted 805 comments.
As the picture-perfect post went viral, the Huff Post created a gallery of submitted images where readers — moms like me — have stayed in the picture. Their comments, about themselves and their children, are so powerful:
“No makeup, an extra 100 pounds, and grey hair. Look how much my kids love me anyway.”
“After reading this article, I realize, I must be in the pictures, she must see me, for who I am today. She loves me just as I am, so why shouldn’t I do the same?”
"I've decided the measure of a pic with my kids is not if I look "good", but if I look happy. Then it's a keeper! Flat hair, double chin, crazy eyebrows, whatever, if you can tell how much I loved my kids in that exact moment, well it's perfect."
I encourage you to read Allison's entire article.
Julie Y
What are your thoughts?.......
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